Thursday, March 14, 2013

June 28, 2013

Well, the list of posts that I will make, that I made in my last post, is being temporarily put on hold, because I have received my return ticket information.
And I know when I'm going to leave.

The day in the title. June 28, 2013, is the day that I leave the country that has become a second home to me.
I really don't know what else to say about it, except that it took me completely and totally by surprise.
I was just casually checking my email yesterday evening, and I saw an email from AFS in the top that contained the words "return ticket information."
And it honestly hit me like a punch to the stomach.
I had absolutely no idea that it would be coming this early; I had thought that it would come at least at the end of this month, if not next month. So I really was not expecting it.
And in all honesty, I really wasn't ready to know.
As I've made quite clear before, I love my life here and the idea of leaving it behind utterly and completely terrifies me, and I had been thinking about it a lot lately.
This new, added bit only added to my paranoia about it.
I really could have done without knowing what day that wretched plane that will drag me out of here is going to leave.
It's funny how forward I was looking to receiving the email containing my outbound flight information last July, all those months ago, versus how negatively surprised I was to get my return information now.
I think I will take this opportunity to introduce you all to an interesting Arabic saying: "Ya nahar eswed," which literally means "Oh black morning" and is an expression used to express negatively surprised feelings. I felt that it applied here.
I'm doing my best not to think about it though. It's still three and a half months away, and that's the  important thing, right? There are still three and a half months left of amazing experiences to be had, amazing things to do...I mustn't get to caught up with my fear of leaving, yet.

I really don't know what else to say...We're flying Lufthansa and connecting in Frankfurt. The plane leaves from Cairo ridiculously early (4:10 AM), which makes me tired just thinking about it...
But these are really petty details that I really am not too concerned with. I'm trying not to concern myself too much with the idea of leaving in general. You all know how I feel about it.

Well, that's all, really.
I felt that I should notify you all of this particular news.
I'll be back soon and start off the list from the last post.
Ma as-salama,

PS: Please note that I am not a heartless person and my outlook on going home is not entirely gloomy. I am looking quite forward to seeing my family and my good friends again. It's just that I love my family, friends, and life here so much that I'm really afraid of leaving it behind. That's all.

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